Megan Fox to Star in Ninja Turtles

Like everyone else, when Paramount said they were stopping production on Michael Bay’s rape of the Ninja Turtles, I had hoped it was dead for good. But no, apparently some asshole in a position of power still thinks Bay can make it work. The movie now has a release date and a leading lady. I use those last two words in the broadest possible sense.

Michael Bay has reported on his website (No, I will NOT link you back to it) that Megan Fox has signed on to star in Ninja Aliens. I guess even after she said Bay was a nightmare to work for and went so far as to call him Hitler, she thought it would be a good idea to work with him again.

Presumably Fox will be playing April O’Neil. For those who don’t know who she is, April is either a lab assistant or television reporter (depending on which version of her is being used) who serves as the Turtles’ connection to the human world. She is the first human they meet and one of their oldest friends and allies. I can’t wait to see how Fox will portray as being a personality-devoid blowup doll that you get second hand from China.

Ninja Turtles is set for release on June 6th, 2014.