Some Changes From Once Upon a Time Part 3
And after another day has past, it’s time for another article about the character changes I liked from Once Upon a Time. This is going to be my last article in this thing I’ve been doing, since I only picked nine characters for my list. With this being the final article, and since I don’t really have any individual page tracking stats and nobody is commenting on any of these, I will probably never know what you guys thought of them. Or if you’ve even read them. For all I know I could have just spent a cumulative six or seven hours shouting into the horrible gaping maw of the internet and no one will care… Huh. I am now having second thoughts about finishing this article… Ah, fuck it. Here’s the final three characters I wanted to talk about. In no particular order:
The original version of the story that I know is from the Disney movie Pinocchio. In the movie, Jiminy sneaks into someone’s house one night to escape from the cold. That house is Gepetto’s. Jiminy sees the old man working on a puppet. Before Gepetto goes to sleep he wishes on a star for the puppet to become a real boy. That star, which turns into the Blue Fairy, comes down and brings the puppet to life. She notices Jiminy and asks him to be Pinocchio’s conscience. Jiminy accepts and adventure ensues. It’s been at least a decade since I last watched Pinocchio and the plot summaries I’ve found have, understandably, focused more on Pinocchio than Jiminy. So this is kind of all I got in terms of the version I knew.
But, like with the Evil Queen, I found something kind of cool when looking for info on the character that I feel I should mention. In the original book, The Adventures of Pinocchio, the only cricket in the story was The Talking Cricket. He was just a talking cricket with a cane. No top hat and suit, no personification of a conscience. Just a talking cricket with a cane. He is also apparently immortal, having lived in the house for the past century and other stuff that I will talk about as we proceed. He first appears in the book after Gepetto gets sent to prison. He tells Pinocchio that he must get a job or go to school to properly function in society. Pinocchio says no and the Cricket calls him an idiot (essentially). Pinocchio gets mad and throws a hammer at the Cricket, presumably killing it. A few chapters later the Cricket comes back as a shade. Pinocchio is going off to meet with the Fox and the Cat, Honest Jon and Gideon from the movie, but Jiminy tries to convince to go home. Pinocchio doesn’t listen again and is injured. Jiminy appears once more with an owl and a crow and fixes Pinocchio’s wounds, because apparently the Cricket is also a doctor. The Cricket shows up one more time, alive and living in a house given to him by The Fairy with Turquoise Hair, the Blue Fairy from the movie. He forgives Pinocchio for being and dick and never listening to him and let’s Pinocchio and Gepetto stay in his house.
In the show Jiminy starts out as a person. He works at a circus with his two parents, who are con artists. They spend all their time selling bullshit potions to tourists at absurd prices, and Jiminy has a problem with this. See, even before he was an insect, Jiminy has a very strong conscience. He knows what’s right and what’s wrong, and what his parents are doing is most definitely wrong. He tries to talk them out of conning people, but they just laugh him off. He wants to runaway from them and be on his own, but he’s too much of a pussy to do that. One day, he meets Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpel gives Jiminy a potion, claiming that it will free Jiminy from his parents. Rumpel’s price? He gets to keep what is left behind. The night Jiminy plans to give his parents the potion, they pull a con on a young couple. Afterwards, Jiminy’s parents reveal they swapped out the bullshit potion for the one Rumpel gave to Jiminy, meaning that the couple they conned got the proper magic one. Jiminy runs back to the couple’s house and find the couple, only they’ve been turned into really creepy looking dolls. He runs outside and wishes on a star for the couple to be returned to normal. The Blue Fairy comes down and says that it is impossible to help the couple. Jiminy still wishes to make things right, so the Fairy turns him into a cricket… Wait, how does that make things right? Anyway, with Jiminy being a cricket and all now, he is free from his parents and has to look over the son of the couple and guide him throughout his life. As it so happens, the kid is Gepetto. Some time later, giving credence to the whole immortal thing, Jiminy is in an intervention with the dwarves to try to convince Snow White to not be such a bitch. Of course, this goes swimmingly, as immediately after Snow White decides to assassinate Regina. After Prince Charming tries to stop her and is tied to a tree, Jiminy shows up and frees him. Then a whole bunch of awesome shit happens that Jiminy isn’t involved in, we get to just before the curse. Jiminy is trying to convince everyone that there must be a peaceful solution to the Evil Queen problem. Obviously there isn’t, so when everyone decides to put their fate into Snow and Charming’s unborn child Jiminy gets to step in again. You see, to keep Emma safe (she is Snow and Charming’s kid, in case you didn’t know), Gepetto is contracted to build a magical wardrobe that will transport whoever is inside it to this world where they will be safe from the curse. Unfortunately, the wardrobe only has enough power to carry two people over to the other world. Why should this be a problem, I imagine you ask. Send Snow and Emma and they’ll meet up with Charming on the other side because of love and shit. Well, Gepetto decides to have one of those two people be his son Pinocchio. Jiminy, predictably, flips his shit, saying that Gepetto can’t separate a mother and her newborn baby to save his own son. Gepetto, predictably, tells him to fuck off. So Jiminy does and the curse hits.
What I like about the show’s Jiminy is that he was actually a person once. Instead of just being some magical fucking cricket that can speak and cannot die, he was once a man who did something terrible and now has to atone for it. Also, again, I love the tragedy of it all. Gepetto loses his family and then has to be raised by the person responsible for their deaths. It has a very Dogs: Bullet and Carnage feel to it (it’s a manga I read, it’s got a character in it with a very similar back story, don’t even worry about) and I really like that. And having read up on what I did read up on from the original story, it’s kind of cool that they took at least on aspect from that story. When Jiminy is first turned into a cricket, he’s in his twenties or something and Gepetto couldn’t have been older than 10 or 12. By the time the curse hits, Gepetto’s in his 80’s or something and Jiminy looks and sounds exactly the same. I know it’s a very little thing and probably not even intentional on the writers’ part but I dug it.
So Snow White’s Prince Charming doesn’t exactly have much of an original story. From what I’ve looked up, it seems like his entire back story is that he’s some royal jackass with a thing for unconscious women. In the story he is just some guy who comes for Snow White after however many years pass and trips while carrying her, thus dislodging a piece of the poison apple from her throat and somehow causing her to wake up. In the movie, the Prince sees Snow singing by a well then comes back and makes out with her corpse. She wasn’t actually dead but he didn’t know that. He just started kissing this girl who’s been “dead” for God knows how long, not knowing that it would wake her up. Dude’s kind of creepy.
In the show, we first see the Prince fighting against some big motherfucker for the honor of fighting a dragon for King Midas so his dad can get some gold. Then, when he turns his back on his opponent, he gets a giant ass spear-thing through his chest. Lucky for everyone that wasn’t the right Prince. That was his twin brother. See, after a deal was made with Rumpelstiltskin, a woman had to give one of her twin sons to the king so he could have an heir. The Prince Charming we came to know over the show was just a shepherd. One day, while working on his mother’s farm, the king shows up and says that the kid has to come with him and will change his name to James, the name of the Prince that got jacked up. In exchange for coming with the king and doing what he says, new James’ mom will be taken care of financially and that he can come back home after all is said and done. After going and actually managing to kill the dragon, Midas declares that James shall marry his daughter, Abigail, and the two kingdoms shall merge into one. James believes that he should only marry for love and tries to go home. King George says that if he does George will have James’ mother murdered. With a knife to his mom’s throat, he agrees to marry Abigail. James is allowed to say goodbye to his mom one last time. She gives him her wedding ring, claiming that it will help him find true love. On the way back to the castle, Snow steals his ring and a bunch of stuff that I already covered happens. After that, James tries to flee his wedding to Abigail. She catches him and says that she doesn’t want to marry him, either. She only loved one guy and he was turned to gold by her father. The only way to cure him is to get some water from a lake that is guarded by a siren or something. It’s never very clear what that thing is. Anyway, he succeeds and Abigail gives him some provisions for his journey to find Snow White. Then a whole bunch more things happen that I’ve already covered and then curse.
On paper he does kind of sound like the jackass from the original stuff, just trying to get Snow White because that’s how the story goes. But over the course of the journey to get his mother’s ring back, he and Snow do develop actual feelings for one another. They fight with each other and learn some stuff, and while it is pretty formulaic, it works. He risks his own life on multiple occasions trying to just be with her. He even took an arrow in the chest in order to keep her from becoming evil. That is love… or possibly some kind of psychosis. Another thing is his origin story. Even though he does become a prince with the money and the applied bitches and what have you, he still treasures his mother’s ring and doesn’t really waver from his beliefs except for when his mom was going to get ganked if he didn’t. I really like the way the writers fleshed out the jackass.
The Mad Hatter in both the Disney movie and the original story (if my research is to be believed) didn’t really do much in their respective stories. In the former the Hatter and the March Hare are forever celebrating un-birthdays, the days of the year you aren’t born on, and in the latter the Hatter and the March Hare are stuck perpetually at 6:00 because Time stopped himself there or something. The story is weird.
In the show, the Hatter starts as a completely sane man named Jefferson. He owns a magical hat that can open portals to various magical worlds. He used to use his hat to travel from world to world, collecting thing for Regina. He stopped when doing this caused him to lose his wife. He and his daughter, Grace, had been living in the woods since. One day, Regina stops by and asks him to retrieve something for her from Wonderland. He says no and kicks her out. Afterwards, he goes to the marketplace with Grace and she wants a big stuffed white rabbit. He doesn’t have enough for it and seeing his daughter’s disappointment makes him reconsider the offer. He goes to Regina and agrees to do it on one condition: That Grace will never want for anything for the rest of her life. Regina agrees and he opens the doorway to Wonderland. Once they get their, Jefferson looks around and proclaims, “I hate Wonderland,” and proceed with the mission. They break into the Queen of Hearts castle and steal a box. When they get back to the portal Regina opens the box and out pops her father. Regina and her father go through portal, leaving Jefferson stranded there. But why didn’t he just go through the portal with them, I imagine you ask again? Because the hat is a tricky bitch that will only let the amount of people leaving be the same as the amount of people who entered. Since to entered, Jefferson and Regina, only two could leave, Regina and her dad. Jefferson is caught and taken before the Queen of Hearts. When he will not say, his head is cut off. But, since this is Wonderland, his head lives. He tells the Queen how he got there and is ordered to make a new hat. But, as he is quick to tell everyone, a hat without magic is just a hat. He spends the next however many years making thousands of hats, trying desperately to get one to work so he can go home to Grace. Not a single one works, but he keeps making them and drives himself insane.
Again, what I love is the tragedy of it all. Jefferson is tricked into trapping himself in a world he despises and spend the rest of his time on that earth making hat after hat, slowly driving himself mad. It’s fantastic. I also love the history of Jefferson. Whenever they talk about Jefferson’s past, they make it sound like he was part of some kind of Magical Hat Squad or something. A group of thieves in baller hats, hopping from world to world and stealing magical shit. It sounds awesome, and I would like to see a series all about his past as an Inter-dimensional Man of Thieving and Enchanted Headwear.
So looks like that is going to do it for these articles. Final word count is… 8224. Holy fuck, that is a lot of words. Please, let me know in the forums or in the comments below if there were any characters that you liked that I didn’t mention on these lists.