Dark Thoughts: The Duke of Nukem

Everybody knows Duke Nukem, whether you love or hate the blonde, steroid crazed muscleman who literally pisses American stereotype, hauling around guns big enough to make up for his shrivelled balls of steel. It’s been thirteen years since 3D Realms promised a better, more epic experience. Over a decade of fake “gameplay” leaks, phoney screenshots and broken promises followed ending with Take-Two’s eventual suing, law suiting, suing and suing, 3D Realms eventually shutdown all together leaving Duke on ice. With everybody’s hope fading away, Gearbox, the creators of Borderlands stood up and said “No more!” and with that they took on the licence and burden of the Duke Nukem legacy. Perhaps one of their greatest advantages over 3D Realms is that Gearbox is not going for the perfect game. While this may sound odd, they are trying to tone down the epicness just a bit. Their aim is to simply get the Duke Nukem experience back out there and lets face it, that’s all we really wanted. Duke Nukem 3D back in 1996 wasn’t the crown jewel of innovation and interactivity either but we still played it. All we really want from duke is his Schwarzenegger-esque badassery…and boobs. Lots of boobs. There are rumors abound that release is scheduled for February 2nd. Will Gearbox deliver? Only time will tell. For now, all we can do is wait and hope.

-Donny Grimm