Jumanji Is Getting A Reboot

Doug Belgrad, the president of Columbia Pictures, announced some new movies the studio is working on this week. First, they are going to be making a sequel to 21 Jump Street. Second, Men in Black 4 is a thing. Third, they are rebooting Jumanji… Wait, what?

That’s right. Everyone’s favorite movie based on a board game that nobody has thought about since 2005 is getting a reboot. Belgrad said that, “We’re going to try and reimagine Jumanji and update it for the present.” So it’s going to be about a video game that dumps a whole bunch of jungle shit into your living room?

Why are you people doing this? Sure, Jumanji was good enough for a film about a magical fucking board game, but this is 2012. I would be surprised if anyone in the key demographic for this movie would even know what a board game is. I can’t even begin to fathom why they would make this thing in this day and age. You know, aside from money.